Ahoy there mate, I am AL your arrogant yet funny handsome friendly Gothic Pirate. After all if your not proud to be arrogant then you isn't a pirate! Arrrr! I am 29 years 6'0 tall single and I have no kids good strong build. I search for a divine maiden, goth or wench 18-40 to accompany me to the Renaissance Faire. I am there every weekend Saturdays mostly as for I enjoy natural beautiful women of all shapes and sizes and races. Though I prefer TALL shapely women it's not a requirement. I believe natural beauty is more valuable as I see hardly no unattractive women there. Sorry but I don’t drink at all, I was NOT drunk of Ale last time when I posted this part. Just look around you'll see vibrate beautiful women everywhere at the stands, in the shops, the ticket entrance girls heck even the queen looks very sexy and beautiful. This is my idea of heaven on Earth. I believe ANY woman can actually be beautiful if you just actually look or talk to either of them. Yes their personality will shine through. This is not meant to be an insult but this is a small piece of heaven on Earth, a bunch of fun loving geeks and dorks in costumes all drunk or tipsy and having a good time all together singing, dancing being entertained or entertaining. Fat, to thick, to average to thin to athletic women my face will always have a giant happy grin. Even the women posting on this forum are attractive but most off the market smart husbands they have.

I enjoy relaxing and having fun to take pictures of everyone I can in their faire clothing every weekend I go dressed as something different if I can not always. There are 2 shows that are my Barney tape that I can watch 1000 times and always enjoy the Moonie and Broon Show together or individually both are always fun to watch. Yes I like Broon’s quote “Come my children back into the compound for some kool aide.” Yes I found that funny! I enjoy also the Wenches, Van Kleaver Bros, Adam Crack Pye Powder Court as well as others though more adult comedies would be nice. I also go to other Renaissance Faires and Pirate Faires for fun as well as travel and go to other fun filled places. Yes I like Ren fair music (The Poxy Boggards, Moonie) and Pirate music besides modern rock/metal music like Rammstein or Rob Zombie. Thy lady should be single and free of distractions enjoys good drink, good food and good merriment. Must enjoy laughing alot, since it is the Renaissance faire a good dirty sense of humor and good torrence is required especially around me. I want a busty maiden gone wild enjoys her youth and of those around her. Must like being treated as a equal meaning I will wrestle you to the ground, pull your hair, push you, play with you and if I feel like it I will call you names like brat, butt monkey, butt munch and others. I don't care how hot or attractive you think you are I will treat you the same because I'm also playful and just treat you like one of the guys. And yes you will be addicted to me like a drug because I am that fun. I would like a maiden I can court and see regularly or at least talk to daily about anything. I am not a needy guy and please note that and I'm not here to play email tag to get your number. I want a confidant fun loving woman. I don't NEED a woman though I WANT a woman. She must enjoy good music. I am a avid OZfest goer and would like a maiden to be dancing to the Iron Maiden as well as others. I go to the House of Blues often, I go to the Improv the Comedy Store, Ice House, Bar Sinister on Saturday nights and the Pirate Bar NOT on gay night. I also enjoy plays, museums, beaches and more. Yes I like saucy salty wenches! Yarrr! I avid movie watcher and would like a lovely maiden to escort me where ever I go and travel. I offer fun, romance, and adventure. When you reply add a picture and phone number next to your email so I can call you and see who I'm calling. I am waiting to hear you soon. Yarrr!

P.S Beware of my funny smartass quick witted sense of humor.


DO NOT RESPOND TO ME ARE THE FOLLOWING TOP TEN:

1. Slob= Wakes up and walks around like that in public often confused with the phrase Pig. Smell not always included.

2. Woodland creature= Thinks she still should be in character outside the fair at all times and even speak act and think in character and also use the restroom in the bushes as well. Don't get me into the grooming possibilities.

3. Fairly= Girl who actualy believes that outside the faire but in real life she's a fairy and dresses that way in public waving a wand aka corn-dog stick that she just ate.

4. Crazy Lady = I don't need some girl talking and thinking she's a tree and I must be her squirrel to climb her bark.

4. Girl that can't talk in person= Anti-social and is scared easily by normal people often not seen in day light due to their nocturnal tendencies to only get take out and or leftovers.

5. Girl that hides behind a pc or who thinks she's a pc. = See number 4.

6. A real American idiot= Girl who thinks she made a awesome choice thinking Bush is really a brilliant and articulate man of great character and should be a real Renaissance Man and hero. (I will bag on you hard if you don't bring your intelligence to the table so to speak) I said I want a woman not a brainless clueless idiot that believes magic beans exist.

7. Drunks, heavy smokers, heavy drug users.= I do not want to be confused with your ex or current husband and be told wow you look pretty I look pretty and witty and start singing when your highly drunk or high. No more Ale for you. I do not think it's cute to say this to me look I can smoke through a hole in my throat and sound like a deep voice man.

8. Amish woman= afraid to use a telephone to talk to other human being or use modern ideas and technology.

9. Hardcore religious nut! = Because I will be called the Devil or Satan at your church.

10. Farm woman= Will often be found sleeping with a goat or pig to imitate the man they always wanted but never had. I DO NOT WANT TO COMPETE WITH YOUR GOAT! Nor be compared to the better smell I have.